Choosing Childcare

Im in a bit of a predicament. My two year old, Heidi, attends a day nursery on the one day a week that my fantastic mum can't have her. The nursery is really flexible around work hours, I only pay for the hours that Heidi goes and they offer term time only places, ideal as I only work term time! As an added bonus, my sister works there so Heidi always has a familiar face and I don't  feel like I'm leaving her with strangers. Everyone was happy, including my bank balance.

However its all gone a bit wrong. My sister has let me in on a little secret that the nursery is planning to change the hours available to children. Half-days will either be mornings or afternoons, not any six hours I want. They are also getting rid of the baby room, which I was about to book baby Harriet into for when I return to work. The nursery is now no use to me at all! It's a real shame as Heidi was really settled and I had planned to leave her where she was until she could go to school. Now, I have to look for an alternative. Luckily, I'm on maternity leave until November so I have time to shop about a bit to find the perfect solution.

I suppose the best fit would be a childminder as they are more likely to offer flexibility around hours and a home from home feel, which I like. However, I don't have much experience of childminders and the only one that has been recommended is unavailable. So that leaves me with day nurseries. And there are plenty to choose from! I worked for many years in a day nursery so I must say I feel slightly more confident in what I'm looking for. A safe secure environment that's bright and stimulating with happy children engaged in their play. Simple!

Actually, it's not simple at all. Most nurseries are fantastic and follow the Early Years Foundation Stage to the letter. Some nurseries go that little bit further, but not all nurseries are going to suit me and, more importantly, my girls. With so many day nurseries in my area I need to decide what I want the nursery to offer. Some nurseries are very modern with brand spanking new toys and high tech security systems. Some are open plan and allow children of different ages to mix, where as other nurseries have separate age groups. Do I want a large nursery with large groups and numerous amounts of staff or a small nursery with only a handful of children? Do I want the nursery to offer day trips? What about the outdoor environment? There's so much to consider!

Of course I can do my research online, looking at websites, reviews and Ofsted reports. But 
I also need to get a feeling that 'this is the one'. And I can only do that by visiting them. All the nurseries that I have contacted and that have a space available, have ticked my first box. No appointment necessary. This means I can pop in when it suits and see the nursery running as usual. A couple of nurseries advised me to avoid lunchtime which is perfectly acceptable. I understand from experience how busy lunchtime can be in a day nursery and its usually followed by nap time, so I'm quite happy to follow that advice!

When I eventually get round to visiting this is what I will be hoping for:

• A safe and secure building. Not all nurseries have the funds for a sophisticated security system but locked doors are a must! I will be looking at how people enter and exit the building. I don't want a prison but I would like my children to be where I left them!
• A warm welcome. How do staff interact with me and my children? Are staff genuinely happy and pleased to see us? Are STAFF happy to be there? Fortunately, most early year practitioners are naturally chatty and bubbly, so I don't think this will be an issue.
• Knowledgeable staff. Don't worry I'm not going to raid the office for evidence of qualifications! Neither will I expect staff to reel off the entire EYFS to perfection! More simply, can staff confidently tell me about the routine of the day? Do they offer examples of activities? Can they tell me what types of meals they provide? If they don't know the answer can they point me in the direction of someone who does?
• A positive atmosphere. Are the children enjoying what they are doing? Do staff respond to children appropriately? Is there a bond between staff and children? Are children cuddled and tickled? Do staff squish up on the cushions with three children on their lap to share a story? Do the babies light up with smiles and coos at the sight of their key person? Do staff hold and comfort the babies with confidence, as if they were their own? I understand I wont be able to see all of this happening. But I'll definitely be able to feel it.
• A happy Heidi! This is the most important one. Harriet is only 4 months old so her decision is really left to me. Heidi, however, knows her own mind a bit more. I had my reservations about the nursery that Heidi currently attends, but when she was extremely disappointed to see me after one of her taster sessions I knew she was in the right place. I ended up going home so she could stay for lunch! At two years and eight months old, she's not going to give me a lengthy opinion and anywhere with new toys and activities to explore is always going to be a winner. It's the subtle clues in her behaviour that will speak volumes.

I know this is nothing new. Families choose and settle their children into new nurseries every day. But I can now see the struggle from both sides. While early years practitioners battle to reassure parents that nurseries are not the horror stories they are perceived to be by the media, parents fight with the guilt of leaving their children. As much as I love my job and as much as I advocate early years education, in an ideal world only myself, my partner or my close family would look after my girls!

Writing this post has helped me to identify exactly what I am looking for in a nursery. Loving and affectionate staff that will create a home from home environment. If I can recommend anything to help other mums and dads out there, it's to do the same. Write down what you hope to find on each visit to help you work out what type of nursery you're after. Visit lots of nurseries and have fun!

Hopefully, I'll have an update of how the visits went very soon!

Love and cuggies,

Alison x

The day we turned into a family of four

The day we welcomed baby Harriet into our family was one of our biggest adventures yet!

Harriet

Time flew by while pregnant with Harriet. The pregnancy plodded along with no problems. Everything was happening as it should. I had reflected on the birth of Heidi and had toyed with the idea of a home birth. I liked the idea of being in a relaxed environment, where the midwife came to me rather than worrying about getting to hospital. My last labour moved along fairly quickly so this one had the potential to be even quicker and we had Heidi to think of. Anyway, Christopher shot that idea down straight away. It was too dangerous and what about the mess?!

As I was working, studying and chasing a two year old around, I decided that something had to give so I started my maternity leave at around 33 weeks pregnant. This gave me more time to spend with Heidi so I could prepare her for the new arrival. I was also beginning to get very anxious about the birth and needed some techniques to calm me during labour. Cue Google, which is where I found out about hypnobirthing!

Im not going to lie. I was very sceptical! I had left it too late to book any classes and the chances of dragging Christopher along to any were slim to none. So I downloaded The Hypnobirthing Book:An Inspirational Guide to a Calm, Confident, Natural Birth on my Kindle instead. I was expecting lots of airy fairy stuff but to be honest the concept of hypnobirthing made... sense. I swiftly purchased a yoga/birthing ball and sat bouncing on it while watching the telly. I read a little bit of the book each night and practiced the breathing exercises before falling asleep.

The day before...
At 38 weeks and 2 days I had my 38 week appointment with the midwife. She did the usual, urine check, blood pressure and listened in on baby. Well, she tried to. Baby wasn't playing ball. She took about five minutes to find a heartbeat. I wasn't worried though. Baby was certainly alive and kicking! "He's really tucked up into your back," she informed me. She went on to explain that baby was back-to-back but not to fret, they usually turn before, or even during, labour. I felt really deflated. Heidi was back-to-back during labour and it caused a lot of extra back pain. I really didn't want to go through that again! I had followed all the recommendations in my book to encourage baby into the best position. It obviously hadn't worked!

Later that day I went out for a meal with friends from work to celebrate my 28th birthday. I was feeling very uncomfortable and my jeans weren't helping. Nevertheless, I had a lovely time catching up and I ate LOADS! I went home full to the brim, happy and relaxed.

It's time..
I woke up at 4am the next morning with pains. I began timing and went downstairs to bounce on my ball. This was it. Contractions (or surges!) every five minutes. I focused on my breathing with each pain and found I was coping really well! At 6.30am Christopher came down ready to go to work. I told him not to be so daft, todays the day! He immediately started panicking and aimlessly wandering around the house, while I did something practical and rang the birthing centre. Of course, they didn't want me! I was told to have a bath, breakfast and paracetamol and to call back when I was having three contractions in ten minutes, or when I felt I needed pain relief. Christopher and I decided it would be safer to relocate to my mums, who lives next door to the hospital, until my contractions were coming stronger. That way, we wouldn't need to worry about Heidi.

We arrived at my mums (who had told the whole world!) at 8.30am. But by 10am my contractions had fizzled out. Every 20 minutes, if that. I was starting to feel that I'd jumped the gun and just wanted to go home. So we did and, for some reason, we took Heidi with us. We chilled out watching the telly and had some lunch. I occasionally jumped on my yoga ball when having a contraction but only really noticed them when I moved around.

It really started kicking off at about 4pm. Heidi was tired and miserable. She kept asking to be picked up and was mauling me. I noticed my contractions were coming stronger, but still only every 9-10 minutes. I needed to concentrate on my breathing so I went upstairs and shut myself in the bedroom. The contractions were becoming really intense and it was taking all my energy to breath through. I kept checking the times. Still ten minutes between each but they were lasting longer. Another contraction began, I started the timer on my phone and began breathing deeply, willing myself to stay calm. That's it, ring the hospital, I've had enough! I was just about to shout Christopher when I dropped to my knees and felt a gush. I screamed. I banged on the floor. I did everything to get Christophers attention. "I'm pushing!" I screamed as he came through the door. The breathing techniques went out the window. I didn't get that far in the book!

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur. Chris called the hospital, had a short converstion and put the phone down. "Ok, I need to get you in the car." Seriously? "I'm not going anywhere! I need an ambulance!" Heidi was screaming at the bottom of the stairs. Really screaming. This is exactly what I didn't want! Thankfully, Christophers mum, Janet, turned up just as the babys hair came into view. I have no idea how she knew we needed her! She walked into the room and I pleaded with her to sort Heidi out. She reassured me that Heidi had been safely plonked in front of Cbeebies with a biscuit. In the meantime, Christopher was still flapping and I was still pushing. He eventually put the midwife on loud speaker, so we were all in the loop, but I carried on screaming for an ambulance regardless. After another push (and a lot of stinging!) babys head was out. There was a moment of calm. I stopped screaming. Everyone stopped panicking. All the pain had gone.

Then a horrible thought washed over me. What if this baby is as big as Heidi was? If the charts meant anything, this baby was bigger. What if it got stuck??? Im not daft. I've watched One Born Every Minute. There are no big red buzzers linked to a room full of midwives in my bedroom! There was nothing I could do but push with all my might and hope for the best.

So I did. And my beautiful baby popped out, no mither! Janet gave her straight to me for a cuddle. After a few minutes of faffing and phewing and high fiving, a little voice on the phone (the midwife) said "So... what's she had?" "Oh my god! I don't know!" I laughed. I had a little look and confirmed a baby girl.

A second later, as I was slumped up against the bedroom wall, not one, not two, but THREE paramedics walked in. And just as they were popping their gloves on, the placenta made its entrance, which prompted a quiet "Eugh!" from everyone. Its safe to say the cream carpet is ruined. The paramedics began to take control of the situation. They cut the cord and wrapped Harriet up in blankets before Christopher whisked her away to meet her big sister downstairs. The lovely lady paramedic helped me up and it was then I noticed a paramedic car and ambulance blocking the entire street. Lights flashing and everything! Honestly, all this fuss just for me! I hobbled downstairs and gave my Heidi, who was now sporting a huge smile, the biggest squeeze ever!

As it wasn't a planned homebirth, Harriet and I were taken to the maternity ward in the ambulance. And as it was rush hour, we even had the sirens on! We were both checked over. Harriet was a little cold but soon warmed up and I escaped with a couple of stitches. When we were finally settled and enjoying a much needed tea and toast, the midwife checking my obs casually suggested a planned homebirth next time. I couldn't agree more!



Harriet, born 2nd April 2014 at 5.20pm weighing 7lb 14oz

I find it hard to believe that this happened only four months ago (16 weeks and 3 days to be precise!). I'm reminded of this day every time I go into the bedroom, as there's a big hole in the carpet! Heidi sometimes refers to her experience through play. She puts mummy and baby in the ambulance! She also said a few weeks ago, "mummy was screaming. She thought it was a monster but it was just Harrietta." I'm confident she's not scarred for life and will forget about it soon enough though.

I don't mean to frighten anyone with this story. Yes it was scary and I panicked, but my body did what its designed to do and I'm so proud of myself! I was in a position that suited me, not the midwives and just went with what my body was telling me. I don't remember any of the pain!  The experience has not put me off having more children. It's just made me more adamant to try another homebirth!

Love and cuggies,

Alison x





Heidi's birth story

En route to Rookery Hall!

At 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant with Heidi, I was chief bridesmaid at my sisters big, posh, country house wedding. I was huge and uncomfortable and despite my bridesmaid dress fitting perfectly a few days earlier, it now dragged on the floor at the front. Heidi had decided that she was ready and had snuggled deeper into my pelvis. I, however, was in a bit of denial that this was ever going to happen so even though I was due in just over a week and staying away from home, I hadn't got my hospital bag with me. In fact, I hadn't even put it together.


12 weeks

I started with really strong pains during the wedding photos. I assumed it was because I was doing too much. I'd not stopped all week! I felt much better once I sat down with a small glass of bubbly. During the evening, while everyone was enjoying a good old knees up, I was sat in the hotel room, with an upset tummy. Again, I put it down to the rich food served at the wedding breakfast rather than mother nature. I knew it was a sign of imminent labour but chose to ignore it. Anyway, everyone was absolutely hammered, including Chris, so it couldn't happen tonight!



20 weeks

Thankfully, Heidi chose to stay put for the next couple of days.  Everything calmed down as I chilled out on the sofa, enjoying the beginning of my maternity leave. Halloween arrived and a few parents of the children out trick or treating joked that they didn't want to 'start me off' by scaring me. I laughed back - as if that would ever happen!

At 3am on 1st November (39 weeks and 2 days) I was woken with a strong pain. I went back to sleep.
I woke again at 5.30am and just a I heard Chris leave for work, I felt a strange little thud and gush. My waters had gone, yet I was STILL in denial and tried to ignore it. I waited until about 7am before calling my mum. I didn't want to call Chris until I was sure it was go, go, go! The pain intensified while talking to my mum so I called Chris, who was home within 10 minutes. He called the hospital who told me to have a bath, breakfast and paraetamol and to begin timing! It was my first baby so I had ages, right?

Wrong! By the time I got in the bath my contractions were 3 mins apart. We got the midwife on the phone who sighed and said "do you want to come in?". That was it. I was straight in the car with half a hospital bag and a strong need to....push!

The midwife who greeted me at the birthing centre was lovely and calm and up for a leisurely stroll as she guided me to my room. I was marching. "We don't have to run!" she told me. Er, yes we do! I was introduced to a second midwife, who immediately recognised my need to push and dashed about finding me some gas and air. A quick examination later and I was 9cm dilated. For the next three hours I pushed and pushed. But it was no good. She was well and truly stuck. I was tired and I had somehow agreed to not one, but two student midwives observing. The pain in my back was excruciating, Heidi was back-to-back. I was vaguely aware of some discussions going on but I was too out of it to concentrate.

It was eventually decided that I needed an episiotomy. One snip and two huge pushes later and I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms, weighing in at 9lb 2oz. No wonder she got bloody stuck, eh?

Love and cuggies,

Alison x

Heidi, born at 12.28pm on 1st Nov 2011

Our holiday

We have just returned from two weeks in Aberystwyth. We had an amazing time! Chris and I both love camping but we weren't keen on it with Harriet at only 3 month olds. Camping is fantastic fun but hard work at the best of times. The thought of taking Heidi and Harriet anywhere on a plane is equally as stressing, so a static caravan was the best option. Luckily, we have a caravan in the family so it was cheap and it's also on a great site with a beach. What more could we want?

Chris invested in a roof bag to give us extra space in the car, as Millie (the dog) would be in the boot. It made a huge racket on the roof for the entire 3 hour journey and I was constantly checking the mirrors for runaway luggage! We eventually arrived in one piece and Heidi, our two year old, took to her new home straight away. I worried about getting her to sleep in an unfamiliar bed but I needn't have. She jumped straight in each night and only fell out a couple of times during the holiday!

There was loads to do! We went swimming, watched the red kites being fed, held a snake and fed monkeys at the zoo, and took a ride on the cliff railway. However, the best days were unplanned days on the beach, building sandcastles, eating ice cream and playing Frisbee. The weather was gorgeous most days, so Heidi was continuously smothered in SPF50 (and then sand!), while Harriet was tucked away safely under the snooze shade or beach tent. I'm sure we managed to squeeze an ice-cream in on the couple of rainy days we had too!

Driving a train

Creating memories for my children to share when they have their own families is very important to me. I want Heidi and Harriet to remember their family holidays, like I do mine. I really don't think it matters where children go on holiday. It was just so refreshing to spend time with my family without worrying about chores! I was able to have a guilt-free cuggie with Harriet or say to Heidi, "of course I'll build a sandcastle!" rather than "I just need to do this first". I know its a cliché but whether its all inclusive abroad in sunny Spain, camping in not-so-sunny Scotland or travelling around Europe, its the quality time spent with mummy and daddy that Heidi and Harriet will cherish the most.

Love and cuggies,

Alison x

All fun and games on maternity leave

Yesterday, I popped into work with the girls to show them off a bit. I've been on maternity leave since I was 33 weeks pregnant so I could spend time with Heidi and prepare her for the new arrival, so I've not been into work for about 5 months. It was really lovely seeing the children I used to work with, cooing over Harriet and waving to me from the sand tray at the far end of the classroom. Some children also felt the need to remind me of their names! I've not been gone that long! 

The classroom looked fantastic with some amazing displays and ideas. They had obviously had lots of fun without me! I noticed some new routines that had been introduced too. Dare I say that I felt a little bit... jealous? Left out? I'm on maternity leave with my two beautiful children for goodness sake. I'm not supposed to be missing work! I was invited on the class trip but we were away on holiday at the time (making the most of term time holidays while we can!). I was gutted that I couldn't go but thoroughly enjoyed my holiday all the same. When I eventually return to work in November (just in time for the nativity plays and Christmas activities - my favourite!), it will be all change. New children and a new colleague too! The teacher I used to work with will have moved to Year 3, so I'll be with a new early years teacher I've never met. I'm probably just a bit sad that I won't be working with the same team or children again.

It's not like I don't have any fun with Heidi and Harriet. I'm not incredibly fond of mum and baby groups but we certainly make the most of farms, parks and soft play. We play in the garden, get messy with paint and glitter, bake cakes and visit grandma lots  too! At the moment I get the best of both worlds. Even when I am at work I have the evenings, weekends and school holidays to spend with my family. I have a little feeling it will be different once I qualify as a teacher, so I'm not going to wish this time away! I'll definitely be giving work a wide berth until it's time to go back.

Alison x

Me and my girls

I must say, I love my job. I'm an Early Years Practitioner (more commonly known as a nursery nurse) in a primary school. I have 13 weeks holiday a year which I very much enjoy! But its not just the holidays. I love working with children. And no, I do not 'play all day'. I graduate with a Foundation Degree in Early Childhood Studies next summer and will be topped up to a full degree a year later. Then there's just the small matter of a PGCE and I'm good to go into teaching! It's definitely tough working and studying with two young children, which is why I love those holidays so much. But enough about me...

 

Heidi

'There was a little girl,
who had a little curl.
Right in the  middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
she was very, very good.
And when she was bad, she was horrid!'

Yep. That sums up my Heidi perfectly! Thankfully, the majority of the time, Heidi is an absolute delight.
She has the most incredible imagination at two years old and the vocabulary to match. She is certainly a chatterbox! She loves anything small world. I often find her playing with her 'peoples' (ELC HappyLand collection) or dolls house or both. At one point, Batman, Iggle Piggle and a giraffe were quite happily enjoying a picnic together. Heidi loves snails and slugs just as much as she loves princesses and tiaras.

After a day at Twycross Zoo, Heidi chose a lovely grey squishy rat from the gift shop. Yes, a rat. I don't remember seeing any rats. Lots of adorable baby monkeys and even a baby elephant! But no rats. She loves books, writing, drawing and painting. However, she has never been that fond of messy/sensory play. I tried gloop numerous times but decided it was just a waste of corn flour. She wouldn't touch it!

Heidi's best friend is Dolly. Blanket is a close second but Dolly goes EVERYWHERE. It's safe to say Dolly has seen better days. People have tried to buy her new ones to replace 'that horrible thing' but whether she's upset, tired, excited or up to no good, it's Dolly she wants. When she cracked her head open on a plant pot a couple of weeks ago 'Where's Dolly?!' was one of my first thoughts.

Heidi is funny, affectionate, sociable and very clever. She also has tantrums, throws toys, screams and holds her breath when upset. Overall, just you're average 2 year old.


Harriet

Harriet was our little surprise delivery on the bedroom floor. We knew we were having a baby of course, but I just imagined it being in a hospital surrounded by midwives and with a bit more pain relief than two paracetamols. It was the most amazing experience of my life and we are definitely having a homebirth next time. A planned homebirth!

At 15 weeks old, Harriet's personality is just beginning to shine through. She's bonny and squishy and smiley and has a hint of red hair. She has strong legs and wriggles a lot, although rolling over is still a work in progress! Her cooing and babbling greets me each morning. She's definitely going to be a chatterbox like her sister!

I wish I had more to share about Harriet but she's still pretty much in the eat-sleep-poo phase. I'm sure there will be much more to follow!

Alison x

Hello there...

Well what a holiday! We have just returned home from two weeks in sunny Aberystwyth with half the beach, a little sunburn and an imaginary friend called Sally. Ive also developed a need to share my family adventures with the rest of the world. And as my Facebook friends are probably tired of my continuous updates, a blog will have to do.

So let's get cracking...

The wonderful Christopher and I have been together for almost 8 years. We met in the usual way, 'down town' drinking vodka red bull. But two weeks after our first date we headed off to V Festival together and three months after that, Egypt. The first two years consisted of days out, holidays and date nights. You know, the usual coupley things.

Then we moved in together. We rented a little house and began saving for a deposit for our own. But we didnt stop there. We took another big leap in our relationship.

We got a dog. A little cross-breed puppy called Millie to be precise.

We eventually saved enough for a deposit (ok, Christopher saved most of it!) and we moved into our lovely house after 4 years together.

I absolutely adore my house! Im not going to lie, the area is far from brilliant but we got alot for our money. I dont think I ever want to move especially after a suprise delivery on the bedroom floor (more details to follow!).

I had earmarked the nursery when we first viewed the house so its not surprising that we decided to start to fill our family home with children. Our beautiful Heidi was born in November 2011 and we were blessed with another baby girl, Harriet, in April 2014.

Now we go on day trips, but they are much more fun! Holidays are more sandcastles and kite flying than sunbathing and reading and even date nights still exist, so long as they are planned with military precision. Our home is filled with toys, we have a family car complete with the Frozen soundtrack and we are members of the National Trust.

So there we have it. A brief history of how it all began. There is a little something missing from our story so far, but I'm happy to wait. For now, my world is complete.

Love and cuggies,

Alison x